Oh hello

Well it's been a while.

The past five months haven't been too good for weight loss, but I have lost a little. I'm down to 10st 9lbs (149lbs) from 11st 8lbs (162lbs). It seems like a lot (well, not a lot but it's something) but it's hardly noticeable. My original goal weight was just 10st (140lbs), but I can see now that losing just another 9lbs won't do much for me, so my new goal is 9st (126lbs) by September. And, eventually, 8st (112lbs) by the end of the year.

Some new rules to jump start this weight loss:

1) Don't eat any sweet things.
2) Only drink water, or black coffee
3) Always leave food on the plate. About a third.
4) Exercise penalties for everything I eat. Everything, even the 'good' stuff.

I've made up a list of all the foods I eat and the penalties to go with them (Like, for every bit of bacon I need to do 50 reps with my weights). It's not enough to cancel it out, but it's at least something.

I know these rules aren't much, but they're just the beginning. I'll get a lot stricter when I get into the swing of this :)

Lion goes RAWR!

So had good few days :)

Was in by myself for most of yesterday, so i didn't have to eat much. Just half a lasagne (which was waaay too carby, but i had been exercising, so i guess it's not too bad)

And today, i managed to get away with eating half a sandwich, some of my mum's chicken stew (without potatoes :D) and one very small piece of cake. Its not brilliant and i don't exactly feel great about it, but i s'pose it could have gone a lot worse. And, at the very least its a proper start. I know when i wake up tomorrow i won't feel any thinner or happier, but if i can do (much) better tomorrow maybe i will soon (fingers crossed!)


Tomorrow should be a little better though. School starts again, and i can always get away with not eating. So long as i don't get any cravings, the only thing i'll be eating tomorrow is my dinner (though not much of it ;)

But i'm dreading going back to school tomorrow :(

I've got an exam (which i haven't really studied for and should probably be doing right now :/). And that means that there will be ages where i'm just standing outside the exam room, alone waiting to get called in. And everyone else will be standing with their friends, looking at me, the creepy little awkward girl.

I hate it so much. At least on a normal timetable i can usually hide, but i can't get out of awkward situations like this. I hate being so awkward all the time =/

...I thought this was going to be a positive little blog entry, but evidently not.

I need to go and study now. And not eat more cake, even though that's all i can think about right now. . .

Hope everyone out there's doing ok :)

Mari x

Song of the Day: Babydoll by The Fratellis

Urghh!

Today has been awful. (Of course it has, i'm completely pessimistic, how else could it have gone?)

Started off terrible. There was no bacon in the house, so i ended up eating left over potato curry for breakfast. I don't know how many carbs it had, but it was far, faaaar to many. And then, 'cause my blood-sugar was going crazy, i had a sort of mini binge on cookies. I only had about eight or ten, but they're about ten carbs each. Then i ate some chocolate. . .

Urgh. Can't believe i managed so much so soon. Not sure how many carbs it was all together, and i don't want to know. I will do better tomorrow. I HAVE to.

Dinner was much worse though. I have to sit down with the family, so there's no getting out of it. Had curry (very low in carbs, good choice), a small portion of rice and naan bread. Don't know what i was thinking! Recently i've just picked at any rice i've had, and nobody has minded so far. But i ended up eating almost all of it tonight. Why?! I know how fattening it is and i don't even like it. And there's the naan bread as well. I could have had one or the other, but no. This fat little piggy needed both. I'm disgusted with myself. Had my dinner about three hours ago and i'm still boated. So bloated that i can't even drink water right now. Really want to throw-up, but it's too late to get anything up. And everyone is in and everyone would hear.
fml :(

Weighed just (just) under 11st 6lbs  this morning. Slight improvement from yesterday when i weighed exactly 11st 6lbs, but not enough. And after tonight i'll probably be back up to 12st.   I hate this. Why can't i just wake up skinny :(

But moving on. . .

Decided that i won't refer to myself as "Pigg" any more. It's just going to get annoying fast. Instead i'll just call myself Mari Posita. As in mariposita, Spanish for 'little butterfly'. Much less annoying :)

Good luck to any butterflies-to-be out there x

Mari.

The beginning.

Hello there.

I'm new to this whole blog thing, and i'm not too sure how it all goes, but this is my start.

S'pose i better introduce myself. . .

My name is. . well, i don't actually want to tell yous all my real name (i mean, this IS the internet after all. .), so i'll  just refer to myself as "Pigg". I live somewhere on the British Isles and am studying for my A-levels right now. With any luck i'll be swaning off to uni next year :)

The whole point of this blog is for me to vent and rant about all the stuff that i don't talk about irl (and maybe even get over it one day). Like, my SI, the constant anxiety and my creepy obsession with my weight. This is kinna a weight loss blog (in a way)  but it's not an ana-blog. (Sorry to disappoint anyone). I really don't expect that anyone out there is interested, but i'll just blog on anyway :)

Song Of The Day - Pieces by Sum 41.

Current Weight- 162lbs
Goal weight - 140lbs